Journey To Writing #11 The 84th Draft of My Query …

Ok, so I’m almost not kidding about the draft number. I have been working on perfecting this baby for almost an entire year. I write, stew about it for some time, change things … it is a complication. But, it shouldn’t be. As the author of this novel, I should know better than anyone what I am trying to say. I should be able to speak eloquently about the message I want to share with others.

So, without further blahdy blah, here is the draft. Please comment. All critiques are welcome and appreciated.

Dear Agent Person,

The Black Hills in South Dakota is a sacred place. It holds secrets, ceremony, and a spiritual traditional that has beguiled generations. The mysteries elude even the inhabitants of the area, but the pull is unmistakable.

Varick is pulled to the Black Hills. Alone in his cacophony of the dead, Varick separates himself from society. The people of Echo, Nebraska are uncomfortable around him, and for good reason; his presence is a reminder of death.

Amelia is pulled to the Black Hills. Left to a realm of darkness, Amelia’s people have finally found a way out; once Mia looks into their water portal and makes eye contact, Amelia will share her mind, and there will be no way to rid of Amelia without taking her to the Drythipatica.

The Oglala Sioux are pulled to the Black Hills. The tribe has defended the water portal for centuries, but the strength of their people faltered. They must make a choice: defend against tradition, or allow the unknown to come through the ancient portal. Varick is the chief’s shot at revenge. After all, Varick has nothing more to lose.

Water and Stone is a daring novel about fate, generational curses, and mental agony. Complete at 92,000 words, one reader has referred to my manuscript as Kafka-esque. Please consider Water and Stone for your list.

The first chapter of Water and Stone was chosen for awards for the Agnes Hyde writing contest, and it was published in the Spring 2014 edition of the literary journal, Prairie Winds. My second novel is entitled, Tickets to See the Sun.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your valuable time and consideration.

Kind Regards,

Amber R. Hiles

 

Following are some images that remind me of my novel.

To see more images that remind me of my novel, please see my board: Images For Water and Stone

Books I’ve Read Over The Break … So Far … How Long Do You Wait to Immerse Into a New Story?

I got a few weeks off this Christmas break, which means I have more time to read … time to read what I choose rather than books on coding, design, art, and other academia. So far I have read The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes by Crusie, Dreyer, and Stuart, The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon, and The Wind Through the Keyhole by Stephen King.

In the final pages of The Wind Through the Keyhole, I thought briefly about what I would read next. I asked myself how much time people leave between books, that is, how much time do people let the current book settle before starting another story? After Miss Fortunes, I couldn’t wait to start the next book. See my review for that book before this post. I have yet to write reviews for The Bone Season and King’s novel, but they will be coming.

The Bone Season was a very refreshing read. Shannon is a great new voice for the fantasy genre, and I enjoyed her tale very much. If The Mime Season, the next book in the series, was already released, I imagine I would have bought that and read it right away. However, that does not release until the end of January 2015. Since I have been wanting to read about Roland, Eddie, Jake, and Susannah, I went to my local book store and bought that. It has been quite some time since I read The Dark Tower series, and it has impacted me in the most poignant and beautiful ways. It remains, and I’m sure it will always be, my favorite series.

I started King’s novel shortly after The Bone Season, but what is different after King’s novel is that I cannot simple pick up the next book. I want to buy another and start reading, but I can’t just yet. For King doesn’t just write a good story, he writes a tale that requires further thought and self-examination. He doesn’t just tell a story, he changes your heart. He puts a dent in your soul. I am always left with this feeling of … well I can’t quite put a word to it … but I’m sure King could. He says everything beautifully. To me, he is the greatest storyteller who ever lived .. and that is saying something because there have been amzing writers past and present who have done great things to change the world we live in. Stories that have changes the hearts of generations. Stories that have changes society and the way we live. But, King is different. He seems connected to something greater … connected to the Tower, to ka, to whatever it is that speaks to him through the passing wind.

As much as I want to start reading something else, I can’t just yet. The wind needs to simmer in my mind for a spell.

No one writes like King.

So, I ask, how long do you let a novel sit in your mind, how long to do stay within the pages of your closed book before picking up the next? Who is the writer, in your mind, who palavers with you for a time after you read the last page?

Art from King’s novel, The Wind Through the Keyhole.

Review for The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes by Crusie, Dreyer, and Stuart

The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

By: Jennifer Crusie, Eileen Dreyer, and Anne Stuart

St. Martin’s Press

Regularly, my mother brings books by the box to share with me. Generally, they are crime suspense titles and some romance. This particular novel was in the mix. I believe she told me she couldn’t get into it, but because it had witchcraft in it, I decided I would give it a shot.

From the beginning, the Fortune women, whose names I cannot even recall now (I finished the book a week ago), did not really interest me that much. I need to refer to the book for names. Just a second …

Dee is the oldest; she works at a bank and is very stiff collar. After their parents were murdered, she took charge of Lizzie and Mare, moving them from place to place to keep them safe from their wicked aunt, Xan. Unbeknownst to the trio, Aunt Xan is has concocted a spell that will turn them away from their troublesome powers, which they cannot control anyway. Their home is a series of misfortunate events, bunnies and sexy shoes galore. Xan’s great plan is to send the girls’ true loves to them in an effort to make them choose love over their magic. With the help of a bouncy waitress called Maxine, Xan watches the events unfold. The girls fall in love with the men, and sexiness ensues.

This book is not more than three women playing out their fantasies. It is my belief that the authors each chose a woman to write about and then added in their perfect man and let the sex and heat take them where they always wanted to go with that man. What would happen if a woman couldn’t control her powers during sex? Would someone get knocked out with flying bedroom items? No, what happens in this tale is the broken bed is magically transformed, because … don’t you know it, their sex is this perfect, harmonious union that magically fixes things.

I didn’t get through the novel very quickly. I commented to my husband half way through that I wanted to be done with it, but I had already invested that much time, I might as well see if the girls ever learn to control their powers. I was in for quite a surprise towards the end, and got more than an eyeful from the words on the pages. I was not expecting a porno, after all.

“She had the underwear of a thirteen-year-old, as well, he thought. He glanced back at her. But the shoes of a courtesan.”

The takeaway for this book is a lesson in trust. The girls animosity toward each other inhibited them from learning from each other and learning to harness their power as one. If they were any kind of witches, they would know that there is more power in numbers. Lizzie didn’t even know how to draw a circle, after all. You would think that in the years they ran away after the death of their parents, they would at least pick up a “How to Do Witchcraft for Dummies” handbook or something. They were completely clueless.

This book also calls into question the idea of true love. Xan does a spell that sends each girl’s true love to them. For Mare, the plan backfires, and two men are sent. I understand why the book was titled the “unfortunate,” but really … each woman was sent the man that was made for her through all eternity by a woman who had learned to hate what they were. Really? “I want your power. Here’s the man of your dreams who will love you for ever.” I thought Xan was better than that. As far as the villain goes, Xan was a  big disappointment. She could have been and should have been much more diabolical. But, maybe that is just years of fantasy and science fiction reading speaking.

This is hardly fantasy. It is a smutty romance novel with witches who don’t know anything about witchcraft.

Xan was still watching the dark cream bubble. It had been such an elegant spell, so beautifully subtle, so carefully aimed. Now it was going to be a fuckfest.

Review for Primitive Tools by A.E. Ash

Primitive Tools by A.E. Ash

Published by Luna Station Quarterly

After reading Primitive Tools, I was left wanting more. As a reader, you are offered but a glimpse into the lives of Tembra and Alix. It is a wonderful short story of diversity. Two seemingly different women are surviving together battling Scavs in an unknown world.

What is the Knowing, and what Secrets do these creatures possess? What is the strangeness they experience together? What happened to Tembra’s world and why is her species being eradicated? Additionally, who is telling the story? Mostly, the story seems to be told from a third person point of view, but there are moments when Tembra seems to be the voice of narration.

Why is Alix so willing to help Tembra, against the Guild Regulations mandate?

A.E. Ash is a storyteller, no doubt about it, and I love a woman who writes speculative fiction.

If there are more parts to this story, A.E. Ash, please don’t keep us hanging!

Journey to Writing #10

At the beginning of my journey to writing series, I made it a goal to finish my website by the end of the year. I am happy to announce that it is all ready to go. This was an intro to Web Design course, so I am pretty excited about the end result. Click the pic:

In other news, I am still working on the second novel. It is going good, but I haven’t had as much time to work on it as I would like. Yesterday was supposed to be a big writing day for me, but I was ill and stuck in bed all afternoon and evening. I really need to get the first novel published. It would be amazing to meet someone who could propel my writing career forward. Being a writing in the digital/mobile age is challenging, but I will always write. Maybe one day many will read the stories.

I just floated up for a kiss…

Journey to Writing #9

Yesterday was a great writing day. I got a couple reviews done, a blog post, and worked on my second novel some more. Days like yesterday are like the deepest, most refreshing breath of air. As the lungs shrink with the exhale of air, it seems as if a great weight has been released. But, it doesn’t take the weight long to come back. There is always something to write … always something to say. For me, the more I write, the more I have to write.

I’ve never experienced writer’s block, and I think I have said before that I don’t believe in it. Maybe it is true for others, but not for me. I could live five lifetimes and never get everything out. There is always a character in the back of my mind wanting their story told.

My second novel was in the range of 22,000 words in the first part. I have had to make some revisions, and when I got to about 15,000 words, my character decided that things would be different. I’m not sure if I will be able to use anything from 15,000 to 22,000 that I have already written, but we will see. At least those tidbits helped me discover who the characters are, and perhaps, who they are not. This is essential to the writing process.

When I began writing novel length works years ago, I got very attached to the work I did. I have since learned how important it is to chop. It doesn’t have to go away. I can easily save a new copy, but I am not going to sacrifice the work because of some weird attachment I have to writing that doesn’t work for the story.

Time to get back to work.

Write on.

Response to Recent Review/Criticisms=Improvement

I am plagued.

To me, the most important thing society can do for one another, especially in the writing world, is to build each other up. We should all focus on the positives in each other’s work and use those as a framework for advancement.

But, not everyone works that way.

For example, I am forged under fire. While I would love if everyone fluffed me up with great exaltations about my work, it’s not realistic, and it won’t help me grow at all as a person or as a writer. While we need to build each other up, it is equally important to be honest.

Dudley Field Malone said, “I never learned anything from any man who agreed with me.”

I am a firm believer in that statement, and I live my life that way, but I realize not everyone will be thrilled when their work is not taken in the best light. The truth is, we can all improve. We should always be improving, and we, as writers, should know that better than anyone. We constantly must be striving to be better at our craft, and sometimes the best way for that to happen is to hear the ways in which our work didn’t work.

And yes, the writing work is subjective. Even if your work is the most amazing piece in your genre or in your group of friends, not everyone is going to like it. It’s that simple. Thankfully, there are millions of people on the planet. There are lots of opportunities to impress.

It is my hope that the writers I review for can take my criticisms as constructive, and we can all do our best to build each other up while accepting suggestions for improvement.

Write on.

Review for Inner Predator by Cassie

Inner Predator by Cassie

-This review was written during the initial reading …

Scrolling through Wattpad, I found a title and image that enticed me. Inner Predator is a relatable and smart title, and the image of the fair-skinned red head certainly added an air of mystery and sex appeal.

I wanted to close the tab as soon as I saw the errors in the introduction. Before going live with something on the Internet, a writer should really check for obvious errors. I anticipate the story to be full of errors after this introduction. Additionally, I wouldn’t tell my readers that the story is one that was without inspiration and lost amongst the other computer junk. But, here goes:

After the first page, I an unconvinced of Aurora’s “badassery.” No doubt she has a puffed up ego, and maybe for good reason, but if you don’t fight against those who are tougher than you, you are not any kind of fighter. I think she should fight a vampire. Give yourself a challenge, girl!

There are some vagaries that need to be addressed. When writing a fantasy piece with supernatural humans, it is a good idea to discuss the rules of the world. I can imagine what a Mystical strength is, but I want to know how it works… how it feels… how it moves through her body. Make me feel it. I am left with a feeling over and over wondering how this mystical world works and why these people are the way they are. I am sure the rules of the supernatural world will be revealed later, but, still, I want to feel it.

“Really girly girls”           eek

“I want to smack his face off of his face.”                Tell me how you really feel. 

Aurora admits she is arrogant and fearful of vampires. OK, I kind of already got that. But, why should I care about this character? Already I am feeling kind of annoyed by her.

 “He bends down until his face is right in mine and his silver eyes brighten and start to appear liquid.”

My interest is slightly peaked when Chase (the silvery-eyed vamp) wants to fight Aurora. Knowing that he would not normally challenge her makes me wonder why. This interesting part of the story could come sooner.

I am at the point where Aurora is being woken up to go to class. She has to get to class because she grew up not knowing what she was, and she has to learn the history “and ways of Supernatural beings.”

This is where I stop. I’m reminded of Harry Potter at this point, and I just don’t feel invested enough in the characters to continue. In a story that has really hooked me, I cannot put the book down for fear of something happening to the characters. I have to know what happens to them. It affects me. That’s what I need here, and that’s what is missing. That, and correctly placed commas and semicolons. Sure, the story can be great with some errors, but to me, as a reader, every time I encounter an obvious error, it pulls me completely out of the story.

Perhaps I will finish this story sometime … maybe I will be surprised …