A lot of people are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. Putting all of your proverbial eggs in someone else’s basket isn’t going to get you anywhere. You cannot and should not depend on someone in that way, nor should you assume that it is someone else’s responsibility to make you happy.

Sure, people want to make each other happy, and for the most part, people can be pretty good at it. But, when people start to expect or demand it of others, especially in a relationship, disaster can strike.

No one can assume to know exactly what you need, and if you can’t make yourself happy, you really can’t think that someone else can.

I know from experience, and I also know better every time I do it to someone else.

It’s an easy road to take your anger out on someone because they weren’t there the way you intended them to be. Can you hear how wrong that sounds? To intend anyone to act in any certain way really is an exercise in futility. Each person is so beautifully unique.

Happiness is finding the contentedness within yourself. It’s an honesty with yourself that you cannot achieve anywhere but inward. The mind is complex, but given time and practice, you can “be a lamp unto yourself.” When you find yourself sinking down, down, down, you can be prepared with the tools to bring yourself back up.

There are a lot of ways to find and achieve this peace. I know what works for me, but you’ll have to find that out for yourself. Discover, test, and don’t give up. It won’t happen automatically. Most likely, you will be working on it through the duration of your life, and this is good and okay because it means you are growing and changes. Progress.

Some advice that may help

  • Stop yelling and start laughing and smiling.
  • If you find yourself spiraling into darkness, burn off some energy.
  • Go for a walk, turn your tunes loud, and look to the sky.
  • Stretch.
  • Drink more water.
  • Eat better. Your brain cannot be healthy with garbage in your tummy.
  • Great sex never hurt, but don’t use sex as a way to fill the holes (no pun intended).
  • Create something.
  • Recycle.
  • Write.

Another place people look for their happiness: the church.

Follow Christ, if you will. Give yourself to a religion if that is what you choose.

But, do not assume that anyone in your religion, your God, or Jesus can make you happy in a lasting way. I’m sure many will claim that their religion provides a lasting joy, and perhaps it does bring some sort of purpose or camaraderie to people, but YOUR answers do not lie outside of yourself. 

Good advice is to be had through books and individuals, but your light isn’t out there. It’s IN there … inside of yourself.

No one knows where you have been and who you truly are. Maybe you don’t even know, but if you are always led by a shepherd, you will never know what your journey really is.

happySo, please … journey … discover … find your top of the world and hang out there for a while. But, do it for yourself. Follow your path. If you depend on others, you will likely fall short and you may even end up with some people resenting you.

If you find the joy inside of yourself and make yourself happy, it will, in turn, make it easier to make others happy. But, you won’t do it out of necessity, or because you think you should, or it is appropriate; you will do it because you are finally brimming over with this light feeling inside yourself … the light that can only come from being happy with who you are, how you are, where you are.